I couldn't do it

So I've been working with my wife to have a better sex life (with the help of another woman, but that's an entirely different story which I will relate another time).  It has been better lately and she seems to be opening up sexually.

This morning she was giving me a blowjob.  Something which I have asked her to do often and she has reluctantly agreed to do.  She began, of course, by saying, "All right, I might as well get this over with because I want some coffee."  What a turn on, huh?  As a guy, I really don't care how I get it as long as I do and I'm not going to back out of it no matter what she says.  She's done it before and it hasn't bothered me.  It is better than nothing, right?  There was only one problem:

I couldn't come.

  This made her feel frustrated and a failure and the harder she tried, the harder I know she was frustrated and the more difficult it became to feel right and climax.  After a while she stopped and we talked about it and she accused me of holding back and being in control.. Then she tried again and it still didn't work - which lead to further conversation.  Eventually, we gave up and as I was putting on my clothes she suggested we have sex.  Which we did and she had a good orgasm.  I'm still not sure I did - I may have.

Is something wrong with me?  I was definitely hard and could have come if I masturbated (she took offense when I began to stroke myself, saying "Why can't I do it?").  Is there something else?  Am I in love with someone else?

What the hell is going on?