Over the winter break, I reconnected with an old girlfriend. I have never gotten over her and probably never will. When I first met her, about 12 years ago, I was married and she was not. Yes, I cheated on my wife - although only with her giving me blowjobs (still the best I've ever had). The chemistry that we shared, for it was more than sexual attraction, seemed to immediately pick back up where it left off a dozen years ago. Amazing.
Part of me still feels that maybe I made a mistake and I should have opted to spend my life with her instead of my wife. But I guess we'll never know.
The problem is that now she is married and has a child with her husband. Although we didn't do anything sexual - probably due to the fact that we live about 2,000 miles apart - I can't deny that I didn't want to pick up where we left off and then some. She confessed that she would not have minded either, but, of course, there is the complication of her marriage.
The point is moot, however. Her husband confronted her about the numerous text messages she and I traded and asked her why she was up past midnight chatting on Facebook with me. I don't know exactly what she said, but it doesn't seem to have gone well. Our phone conversation today was probably our last. She needs to be with her husband and I understand. I hope I haven't screwed anything up for her. To be honest, though, my selfish side (and my ego) would like to have her all to myself again, even though I am too chickenshit to give up my marriage for her.
I am such a bastard!
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