Life is a series of "do-overs." Except that each time you get to try something anew, you carry with you the experience (read: baggage) of all the previous attempts. Sometimes, this is a good thing: you can easily recognize patterns and know how to change the outcome. For example, when you find yourself overwhelmed with work, you can think back to the times when you spent yourself immersed in front of the computer trying desperately to make a deadline. You know you'll get through it. You also know not to put it off simply because it is uncomfortable and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Other times, though, the baggage from past attempts is not so good. Piled up debts, bad habits and lack of trust can make it more difficult to embark on a new journey. "A cat that jumps on a hot stove will never again jump on a hot stove; neither will he jump on a cold one." Perhaps this is why we look back on our "younger" days so fondly. We didn't have these experiences to saddle us with the doubt, pain, self-awareness that keeps us from trying new things. Again, this could be a good thing: I don't have the desire to drink myself into stupidity at the newest club or bar. But it can also be a bad thing, new experiences are part of what keep us from literally boring ourselves to death.
So where am I now? As you might expect if you've had some life experience I am somewhere in the middle. Things are never all black or all white. I have learned from life and have a pretty good job and income, but I'm also burdened with debt and "experience." Life is OK, but not yet comfortable enough for me to feel successful - I wonder if I ever will. This blog, and the alias created with it, is an attempt to reconnect with my younger thoughts and feelings, pretend that I do not have the responsibilities that I do and "try out a new pair of pants."
If you can guess who I really am feel free to guess, I will not deny it, but whether you know me or not: join me in this adventure of rediscovery and enjoyment...
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